Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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