my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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