I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
