just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
