let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize