loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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