He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
