oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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