I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
