so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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