You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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