He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
