We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
