i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
