You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
