You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize