OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
