the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
