Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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