So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
