One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
