My cat gives me a boner
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
