I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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