I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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