she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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