Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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