Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
