She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize