I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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