my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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