What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
