OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
