I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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