pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
