Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
