So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
