I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize