He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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