so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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