i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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