Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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