I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
