you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
