Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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