apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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