Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm always down for nudity.
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