You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
