Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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