Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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