yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
