hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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