and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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