Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
