Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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