Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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