Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
